Somethings happened the other day;
A small boy taped a paper mustache on his face. People laughed and said how cute and soon everyone in the class had paper mustaches on their faces.
A small girl had 2 small paper cups and held them to her chest. The boys laughed, but the girls didn't. The teacher quickly took the cups away and told the girl that parents would be called if she did that again.
So all the girls and the boys learned some things that day. Its ok to become mature if you are male, it is not ok if you are female. In fact while one thing gets you admiration and adulation, the other gets you humiliation and threats.
Wow! how f'ed up is that?
The argument that one thing is more overtly sexual than the other is bogus, both symbols of maturity come from hormonal changes. So the ability to grow facial hair is exactly the same as breast development.
In schools, social settings, and home we teach attitudes towards sexuality inadvertently everyday. It does not need to be as codified as a dress code with one standard for girls and another for boys, it does not need to be as unrealistic as Just say no. We celebrate the maturity of boys in overt and subtle ways and girls often face the opposite.
We need to develop ways to empower and not humiliate our girls before during and after they become women.
